plaidCTF 2014 - paris (re300)

For PlaidCTF2014, Eindbazen and fail0verflow joined forces as 0xffa, the Final Fail Alliance.
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Reversing (300 pts)
This binary was found on some of our Windows machines. It's got The
Plague written all over it. What secrets are contained inside?

We are greeted by a Windows executable. Since I hate Windows and I can’t be arsed to pull up a Windows VM and debugger, I decided to solve this one statically. Time to load it into IDA.